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| 2008-09-11 15:12 |
| Trials |
| Public |
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My Political Science professor says humanity has the capacity to do great evil. Honestly, though, what is it that sends us spiraling down a cliff we never even knew existed? What makes us slice our wrists and put our two-year old babies in microwave ovens? What makes a man rape a five-year old? What drives us in front of moving trucks? What creates such rage that a man would decapitate the stranger sitting beside him on a bus? What fuels cannibalism? Why do we run planes into towers?
How do we justify genocide, hate crimes, war and torture?
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Today, I woke up to perfect weather in Las Vegas.
I looooove you all. <3
(Hyper much?)
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by: Dashboard Confessionals
This is where I say I've had enough.
No one should ever feel the way that I feel no -
A walking open wound, a trophy display of bruises,
And I don't believe that I'm getting any better.
Waiting here with hopes the phone will ring
And I'm thinking awful things, pretty sure that few would notice.
And this apartment is starving for an argument,
Anything at all to break the silence.
Wandering this house like I've never wanted out.
This is about as social as I get now.
I'm throwing away the letters that I am writing you
'Coz they will never do.
I would never do.
Don't be a liar.
Don't say that everything's working when everything's broken.
You smile like a saint but you curse like a sailor,
And your eyes say the joke's on me,
But I'm not laughing; you're not leaving.
Who do I think I am kidding when I'm the only one locked in this hell?
Waiting here with hopes the phone will ring and I'm thinking awful things, pretty sure that few would notice. And this apartment is starving for an argument, anything at all to break the silence.
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| 2008-08-22 01:33 |
| 100 |
| Public |
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1) Are you really ready for 100 questions?
Probably not.
2) Was your last kiss a mistake?
Nope.
3) Do you believe in God?
I believe in Something.
4) Who did you last say i love you to?
My dad.
6) What's your ringtone?
Moonlight Sonata
7) Have a best friend?
Sort of.
8) Are you a boy or girl?
..FU if you can't tell for yourself.
10) How do you want to die?
In my sleep, please.
11) What did you last eat?
Adobo, yum.
12) Last call?
Joan.
13) Tom from MySpace is about to go to jail, what’s your first thought?
..What?!
14) Do you have an attitude?
Who doesn't?
17) How much do you text?
Depends on the day.
18) Like reading?
Yes!
19) Are you gonna get high later?
Nope.
20) Do you hate anyone at the moment?
Yes, sadly.
21) Do you miss someone?
Always.
22) Who is the last person of the opposite sex you texted?
Matthew
26) Ever eat food in a car while someone or your self is driving?
Yes.
28) Have you ever started a rumor?
Might've.
30) Who were you with last night and what did you do?
With whoever I'm usually with during evenings and doing what I usually do.
31) Do you regret anything from your past?
Not really.
32) What are you listening to?
Music.
33) Do you want to have kids?
Not sure.
34) Ever kissed somebody that name start with a C?
Haha. Yes.
35) Do you type fast?
Yup.
36) Do you have piercings?
Yeah.
38) Can you spell well?
Yes.
40) What are you craving right now?
Sleep.
43) Does somebody love you?
Yes.
54) What is your favorite color?
Red.
60) Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
Yes.
61) Are you secretly liking someone?
Nope.
62) Do you shower daily?
Yes.
65) Your hair color?
Black with red streaks.
66) Is your house big?
It's normal.
67) Where is your cat at?
In his cupboard.
68) Have you ever walked outside in the rain?
Yes, and I loved it.
69) Do you think youre a good person?
Most times.
72) Last time you had a nice bubble bath?
Years ago.
73)Do you have a cell phone?
Of course.
74)Whats your middle name?
Francheska
75) Do you play the Wii?
I want to.
76) How do you feel about Wal-Mart?
Good place to be?
77) How long have you had a myspace?
A year or three.
79) Favorite pick up line?
Hate pick up lines. HATE.
80) How old will you be in 3 months?
Twenty, still.
81) Are you mean?
At times.
82) Can you keep white shoes clean?
No.
84) Do you like roller coasters that go upside down?
I hate roller coasters that don't.
85) Are you proud of the person you've become?
Not yet.
86) Do you wanna change?
Some.
87) What are you looking forward to?
..Sorry, next question.
88) Do you like to be outside?
At times. Like right now.
90) Do you want to get married?
Not right now.
92) Are you hungry?
Nope.
93) Do you have a bank account?
Yes.
94) What makes you happy?
A lot of things.
95) Would you change your name?
Nope.
96) Do you know how to skateboard?
Not yet.
97) Are you paranoid?
Quite
98) Do you watch the news?
Read it.
99) Whats your sign?
Pisces.
100) What did/are you doing today?
Work, read, played, talked to people
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1) Say three things to anyone, no names:
ONE: I can live without you, but can she? o_o
TWO: I want you here, dammit.
THREE: Thanks for ze coffee. ^.^
2) What do you miss the most about last year?
The freedom.
3) What is one thing you would change about right now, if you HAD to?
My lack of a driver's license/car.
4) Why did you cry last?
o_o Because I was frustrated?
5) What is bothering you?
How long this day is.
6) Are you happy?
Yesss.
7) Do you think you are better than some people?
Some people. Worse than some. On par with the rest.
8) If you could go anywhere right now, where?
Arcade.
9) Name something that always gives you the chills?
The ocean.
10) What is one thing you want right now?
Cuddles.
11) What is one item that means the most to you, why?
My bracelet and bangle combo. Because.. I feel naked without them.
12) The last really good movie you watched?
Batman: The Dark Knight
13) Who do you miss?
A few people.
14) Do you have any regrets?
No.
15) What do you think is easier, letting go or holding on?
Holding on.
16) Is it easier to forgive or forget?
Forget.
17) What member of the opposite sex do you care about the most?
Justin, i love my brother more than anybody else in thee world :]
18) What member of the same sex you care about the most?
There's four of them.
19) Do you fall for people easily?
No.
20) Do you trust easily, why?
Hell no. I'm not sure why.
21) What is one thing you want to do right now?
Go to a shooting range.
22) Who makes you laugh the most?
No one lately.
23) Would you rather be sang to or a poem read to you?
Sang to.
24) Name one thing you don't understand?
How the body works. oO
25) Its 11:11, do you wish?
Lately, yeah. xD
26) If you could go back in time, would you change anything?
Probably.
27) Let it be or try to fix things?
It'll bug me but I'll let it be sooner or later.
28) Who is one person that hurt you the most?
I'd rather not say.
29) Have you forgiven that person?
Forgotten, maybe.
30) Who is your favorite person to spend a whole day with?
I'm not sure.
31) Are you close to any of your siblings?
Hell yes. Both of them.
32) What is your favorite thing to do to pass time?
Lately, the internet has been running out of time passers for me. So.. Hmm.. Coffee and tv.
34) If you could do anything without judgment or any consequences, what?
Walk away.
35) If you could spend one day with anyone famous, who?
Ingrid Magnussen. xDD
36) What is the best feeling?
Contentment
37) What is the worst feeling?
Disappointment
38) What is one thing you dread?
My boss.
42) What do you wish there was more of in your life?
Real friends.
43) Whose words mean the most?
My parents'.
44) Who occupies your mind quite often?
Matt.
45) Who do you feel most comfortable around?
My sisters.
46) Who understands you the most?
You tell me.
47) Do you believe in true love?
Yeah.
48) Love at first sight?
Absolutely not.
49) Name one thing that is impossible?
Me.
50) Do you have a thing for anyone?
Yeah.
51) Who do you wish you could talk to right now?
Everyone.
52) I am tired of:
Monotony.
53) I want:
to cuddle.
54) I need:
a more organized take on things.
55) I still:
roam around aimlessly.
56) I:
kiss to break the silence. >_>
57) If you would please:
not be so fucking rude.
58) Tell me:
how we're gonna walk away unharmed.
59) Show me:
something I can believe in. <_<
60) I love:
romance. xD
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So I've never been attracted to Japanese culture/people/country/etc. I like the technology that comes out of that country. That's it. Nothing else. None. Zero.
When I hear friends say that Tokyo is one of the places they wanna visit one day, I often roll my eyes without even meaning to. If they had said Kyoto, I might have been more interested.
Anime? Meh.
Cute girls/boys? Blah.
Their tight-knit culture and sense of honor? I'd like them if I wasn't already biased in my opinions about that country.
Geisha? Maybe.
I've never been to Japan. I don't know many Japanese kids/people. I admit that I'm showing signs of a virtue(?) I so intensely hate, i.e., prejudice. Reasons behind this prejudice are somewhat illogical. But then, what prejudice is logical, yes?
I was browsing through Y!News when I found this: Article
The story reminded me of my out-of-character prejudice which, hence, urged me to try and rationalize it through writing, and, maybe in the process, rid myself of it.
Elementary school in the Philippines can get rather interesting. From first grade all the way to high school, they teach you history. So, sure, I've known all these for quite some time now. You may even say I've been fed with semi-biased facts all my life. But, see, the Japanese occupation of Asia only lasted a few years. The Spanish held the Philippines for more than three centuries. Afterwards, the US did the same for a few decades. Today, there's something akin to Civil War going on in Mindanao. Each of these 'conflicts', for lack of a better word, bred (is that the right term?) its own set of atrocities. Is it strange that I now live in the States and want to see Barcelona one day? Hm.
However, I cannot deny that the Japanese occupation three or four decades before I was born is probably the main drive behind my dislike for (popularized) Japan and its spawned wonders. Maybe because when I was a kid, the oldest people I spoke to still had their little war snippets to impart. My teachers' parents probably told them stories when they were young. Maybe their experience-borne bitterness towards the Japanese trickled down to the generation before me, who then subconsciously shared it with me (and my generation, maybe. Though it's hard to believe my anime-obsessed peers share my strange sentiments.) Strangely enough, only once did I hear my grandfather talk of his experiences during WWII. He spoke of going underground everytime someone shouted, "Andyan na ang mga Hapon!" (Trans: "Here comes the Japanese!")
I recently met one of my great grandfathers who fought among the Allies. He told us a more vivid story about how he was tortured for information. He said something about electricution and being buried alive, only to be found later by the very people whose names he didn't betray to the hands of the enemy. He remembers the name of his American superior, and even enumerated several people in his platoon. He remembers discovering a Japanese encampment and reporting it to his commander. He laughed while talking about how he and his comrades exacted their revenge. They left one man alive, then killed him afterwards. I would have liked to ask more, but it did not sound like the others were very interested in what the old man was saying.
I don't know. These are just stories, at the end of it. I've had one too many enthusiastic history teacher, I guess. I read too much into the Bataan Death March, the Nanking/Manila/Palawan/Sook Ching Massacres and the stories about haunted houses where comfort women used to be. I'm a weird kid.
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The best part is always the snoring two minutes after a variation of "I'm really worried about you" or "I'm aware of this problem and would like to solve it".
And the next day, it's all about snuggling. The rest is forgotten until the arrival of the next opportunity to spend a significant amount of quality time together.
That's perfection for you.
Wrap it up, conductor.
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"You know we never write about the things that matter," she said once, with her nose buried in some strange, leather-bound book.
"What?" His response was sharp, almost annoyed.
"I said: we never write about-- oh, nevermind. Why do I even try?" Her irritated frown did not go unnoticed.
--
Could've touched the skies with fingers curled. Palms dented but not scarred - I could've filled your world with lightning and loud thunder. See, I go by streams of (un)consciousness to wipe the wakefulness from my head. It doesn't serve me well at 1:15 in the morning, specially after seeing the best movie of the decade. Makes you think, really. About all those things you thought you knew and failed to see. All those things, I promise, will come back to haunt you. Then what will you do? When reality comes knocking in, what will you say to it? "Hi"? Hello, how are you, wherehaveyoubeenallmylife, canyoupleasestaythistime? How will that fill the gaps in? How will you survive? How and where-- and why, and when, and.. Maybe it's time to stop. For you, it's just a beginning. But for me, it's the end of the line. One more step and I'll fall to a new chapter I'm not sure I'm ready for. I may want it badly, but I don't think it's ready for me, or I for it. I don't think it's right to abandon that which is secure and sometimes comfortable. I don't think it's time for a change at all. I think I'm a liar, sometimes. Other times, I think Bye.
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Thank you to the citizens of Berlin and to the people of Germany. Let me thank Chancellor Merkel and Foreign Minister Steinmeier for welcoming me earlier today. Thank you Mayor Wowereit, the Berlin Senate, the police, and most of all thank you for this welcome.
I come to Berlin as so many of my countrymen have come before. Tonight, I speak to you not as a candidate for President, but as a citizen - a proud citizen of the United States, and a fellow citizen of the world.
I know that I don't look like the Americans who've previously spoken in this great city. The journey that led me here is improbable. My mother was born in the heartland of America, but my father grew up herding goats in Kenya. His father - my grandfather - was a cook, a domestic servant to the British.
At the height of the Cold War, my father decided, like so many others in the forgotten corners of the world, that his yearning - his dream - required the freedom and opportunity promised by the West. And so he wrote letter after letter to universities all across America until somebody, somewhere answered his prayer for a better life.
That is why I'm here. And you are here because you too know that yearning. This city, of all cities, knows the dream of freedom. And you know that the only reason we stand here tonight is because men and women from both of our nations came together to work, and struggle, and sacrifice for that better life.
Ours is a partnership that truly began sixty years ago this summer, on the day when the first American plane touched down at Templehof.
On that day, much of this continent still lay in ruin. The rubble of this city had yet to be built into a wall. The Soviet shadow had swept across Eastern Europe, while in the West, America, Britain, and France took stock of their losses, and pondered how the world might be remade.
This is where the two sides met. And on the twenty-fourth of June, 1948, the Communists chose to blockade the western part of the city. They cut off food and supplies to more than two million Germans in an effort to extinguish the last flame of freedom in Berlin.
The size of our forces was no match for the much larger Soviet Army. And yet retreat would have allowed Communism to march across Europe. Where the last war had ended, another World War could have easily begun. All that stood in the way was Berlin.
And that's when the airlift began - when the largest and most unlikely rescue in history brought food and hope to the people of this city.
The odds were stacked against success. In the winter, a heavy fog filled the sky above, and many planes were forced to turn back without dropping off the needed supplies. The streets where we stand were filled with hungry families who had no comfort from the cold.
But in the darkest hours, the people of Berlin kept the flame of hope burning. The people of Berlin refused to give up. And on one fall day, hundreds of thousands of Berliners came here, to the Tiergarten, and heard the city's mayor implore the world not to give up on freedom. There is only one possibility, he said. For us to stand together united until this battle is won...The people of Berlin have spoken. We have done our duty, and we will keep on doing our duty. People of the world: now do your duty...People of the world, look at Berlin!
People of the world - look at Berlin!
Look at Berlin, where Germans and Americans learned to work together and trust each other less than three years after facing each other on the field of battle.
Look at Berlin, where the determination of a people met the generosity of the Marshall Plan and created a German miracle; where a victory over tyranny gave rise to NATO, the greatest alliance ever formed to defend our common security.
Look at Berlin, where the bullet holes in the buildings and the somber stones and pillars near the Brandenburg Gate insist that we never forget our common humanity.
People of the world - look at Berlin, where a wall came down, a continent came together, and history proved that there is no challenge too great for a world that stands as one.
Sixty years after the airlift, we are called upon again. History has led us to a new crossroad, with new promise and new peril. When you, the German people, tore down that wall - a wall that divided East and West; freedom and tyranny; fear and hope - walls came tumbling down around the world. From Kiev to Cape Town, prison camps were closed, and the doors of democracy were opened. Markets opened too, and the spread of information and technology reduced barriers to opportunity and prosperity. While the 20th century taught us that we share a common destiny, the 21st has revealed a world more intertwined than at any time in human history.
The fall of the Berlin Wall brought new hope. But that very closeness has given rise to new dangers - dangers that cannot be contained within the borders of a country or by the distance of an ocean.
The terrorists of September 11th plotted in Hamburg and trained in Kandahar and Karachi before killing thousands from all over the globe on American soil.
As we speak, cars in Boston and factories in Beijing are melting the ice caps in the Arctic, shrinking coastlines in the Atlantic, and bringing drought to farms from Kansas to Kenya.
Poorly secured nuclear material in the former Soviet Union, or secrets from a scientist in Pakistan could help build a bomb that detonates in Paris. The poppies in Afghanistan become the heroin in Berlin. The poverty and violence in Somalia breeds the terror of tomorrow. The genocide in Darfur shames the conscience of us all.
In this new world, such dangerous currents have swept along faster than our efforts to contain them. That is why we cannot afford to be divided. No one nation, no matter how large or powerful, can defeat such challenges alone. None of us can deny these threats, or escape responsibility in meeting them. Yet, in the absence of Soviet tanks and a terrible wall, it has become easy to forget this truth. And if we're honest with each other, we know that sometimes, on both sides of the Atlantic, we have drifted apart, and forgotten our shared destiny.
In Europe, the view that America is part of what has gone wrong in our world, rather than a force to help make it right, has become all too common. In America, there are voices that deride and deny the importance of Europe's role in our security and our future. Both views miss the truth - that Europeans today are bearing new burdens and taking more responsibility in critical parts of the world; and that just as American bases built in the last century still help to defend the security of this continent, so does our country still sacrifice greatly for freedom around the globe.
Yes, there have been differences between America and Europe. No doubt, there will be differences in the future. But the burdens of global citizenship continue to bind us together. A change of leadership in Washington will not lift this burden. In this new century, Americans and Europeans alike will be required to do more - not less. Partnership and cooperation among nations is not a choice; it is the one way, the only way, to protect our common security and advance our common humanity.
That is why the greatest danger of all is to allow new walls to divide us from one another.
The walls between old allies on either side of the Atlantic cannot stand. The walls between the countries with the most and those with the least cannot stand. The walls between races and tribes; natives and immigrants; Christian and Muslim and Jew cannot stand. These now are the walls we must tear down.
We know they have fallen before. After centuries of strife, the people of Europe have formed a Union of promise and prosperity. Here, at the base of a column built to mark victory in war, we meet in the center of a Europe at peace. Not only have walls come down in Berlin, but they have come down in Belfast, where Protestant and Catholic found a way to live together; in the Balkans, where our Atlantic alliance ended wars and brought savage war criminals to justice; and in South Africa, where the struggle of a courageous people defeated apartheid.
So history reminds us that walls can be torn down. But the task is never easy. True partnership and true progress requires constant work and sustained sacrifice. They require sharing the burdens of development and diplomacy; of progress and peace. They require allies who will listen to each other, learn from each other and, most of all, trust each other.
That is why America cannot turn inward. That is why Europe cannot turn inward. America has no better partner than Europe. Now is the time to build new bridges across the globe as strong as the one that bound us across the Atlantic. Now is the time to join together, through constant cooperation, strong institutions, shared sacrifice, and a global commitment to progress, to meet the challenges of the 21st century. It was this spirit that led airlift planes to appear in the sky above our heads, and people to assemble where we stand today. And this is the moment when our nations - and all nations - must summon that spirit anew.
This is the moment when we must defeat terror and dry up the well of extremism that supports it. This threat is real and we cannot shrink from our responsibility to combat it. If we could create NATO to face down the Soviet Union, we can join in a new and global partnership to dismantle the networks that have struck in Madrid and Amman; in London and Bali; in Washington and New York. If we could win a battle of ideas against the communists, we can stand with the vast majority of Muslims who reject the extremism that leads to hate instead of hope.
This is the moment when we must renew our resolve to rout the terrorists who threaten our security in Afghanistan, and the traffickers who sell drugs on your streets. No one welcomes war. I recognize the enormous difficulties in Afghanistan. But my country and yours have a stake in seeing that NATO's first mission beyond Europe's borders is a success. For the people of Afghanistan, and for our shared security, the work must be done. America cannot do this alone. The Afghan people need our troops and your troops; our support and your support to defeat the Taliban and al Qaeda, to develop their economy, and to help them rebuild their nation. We have too much at stake to turn back now.
This is the moment when we must renew the goal of a world without nuclear weapons. The two superpowers that faced each other across the wall of this city came too close too often to destroying all we have built and all that we love. With that wall gone, we need not stand idly by and watch the further spread of the deadly atom. It is time to secure all loose nuclear materials; to stop the spread of nuclear weapons; and to reduce the arsenals from another era. This is the moment to begin the work of seeking the peace of a world without nuclear weapons.
This is the moment when every nation in Europe must have the chance to choose its own tomorrow free from the shadows of yesterday. In this century, we need a strong European Union that deepens the security and prosperity of this continent, while extending a hand abroad. In this century - in this city of all cities - we must reject the Cold War mind-set of the past, and resolve to work with Russia when we can, to stand up for our values when we must, and to seek a partnership that extends across this entire continent.
This is the moment when we must build on the wealth that open markets have created, and share its benefits more equitably. Trade has been a cornerstone of our growth and global development. But we will not be able to sustain this growth if it favors the few, and not the many. Together, we must forge trade that truly rewards the work that creates wealth, with meaningful protections for our people and our planet. This is the moment for trade that is free and fair for all.
This is the moment we must help answer the call for a new dawn in the Middle East. My country must stand with yours and with Europe in sending a direct message to Iran that it must abandon its nuclear ambitions. We must support the Lebanese who have marched and bled for democracy, and the Israelis and Palestinians who seek a secure and lasting peace. And despite past differences, this is the moment when the world should support the millions of Iraqis who seek to rebuild their lives, even as we pass responsibility to the Iraqi government and finally bring this war to a close.
This is the moment when we must come together to save this planet. Let us resolve that we will not leave our children a world where the oceans rise and famine spreads and terrible storms devastate our lands. Let us resolve that all nations - including my own - will act with the same seriousness of purpose as has your nation, and reduce the carbon we send into our atmosphere. This is the moment to give our children back their future. This is the moment to stand as one.
And this is the moment when we must give hope to those left behind in a globalized world. We must remember that the Cold War born in this city was not a battle for land or treasure. Sixty years ago, the planes that flew over Berlin did not drop bombs; instead they delivered food, and coal, and candy to grateful children. And in that show of solidarity, those pilots won more than a military victory. They won hearts and minds; love and loyalty and trust - not just from the people in this city, but from all those who heard the story of what they did here.
Now the world will watch and remember what we do here - what we do with this moment. Will we extend our hand to the people in the forgotten corners of this world who yearn for lives marked by dignity and opportunity; by security and justice? Will we lift the child in Bangladesh from poverty, shelter the refugee in Chad, and banish the scourge of AIDS in our time?
Will we stand for the human rights of the dissident in Burma, the blogger in Iran, or the voter in Zimbabwe? Will we give meaning to the words never again in Darfur?
Will we acknowledge that there is no more powerful example than the one each of our nations projects to the world? Will we reject torture and stand for the rule of law? Will we welcome immigrants from different lands, and shun discrimination against those who don't look like us or worship like we do, and keep the promise of equality and opportunity for all of our people?
People of Berlin - people of the world - this is our moment. This is our time.
I know my country has not perfected itself. At times, we've struggled to keep the promise of liberty and equality for all of our people. We've made our share of mistakes, and there are times when our actions around the world have not lived up to our best intentions.
But I also know how much I love America. I know that for more than two centuries, we have strived - at great cost and great sacrifice - to form a more perfect union; to seek, with other nations, a more hopeful world. Our allegiance has never been to any particular tribe or kingdom - indeed, every language is spoken in our country; every culture has left its imprint on ours; every point of view is expressed in our public squares. What has always united us - what has always driven our people; what drew my father to America's shores - is a set of ideals that speak to aspirations shared by all people: that we can live free from fear and free from want; that we can speak our minds and assemble with whomever we choose and worship as we please.
These are the aspirations that joined the fates of all nations in this city. These aspirations are bigger than anything that drives us apart. It is because of these aspirations that the airlift began. It is because of these aspirations that all free people - everywhere - became citizens of Berlin. It is in pursuit of these aspirations that a new generation - our generation - must make our mark on the world.
People of Berlin - and people of the world - the scale of our challenge is great. The road ahead will be long. But I come before you to say that we are heirs to a struggle for freedom. We are a people of improbable hope. With an eye toward the future, with resolve in our hearts, let us remember this history, and answer our destiny, and remake the world once again.
-----
Cheska's Note: Gotta admit, that's a good speech. Thoughts, anyone?
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 Time is a very strange thing. Summer vacations fly by like seconds while the last half hour of our workdays seems to go on forever. Scientists have yet to discover how to control or manipulate time. The word 'time' itself is one of the many abstract terms we cannot touch but learn to live with for the entirety of our lives. The only thing truly certain about time is that it will pass, and, once it does, the events that transpire cannot be undone. Seconds will tick by regardless of humankind's consent. With each moment that flies by, we step into the future and simultaneously leave something to the past. We have nothing but photographs to prove that we even saw what we think we saw or that we felt what we think we felt at any given point in our history. Sometimes, even these pictures seem like glimpses into the life of a different person, a man or a woman from a world that no longer exists.
Last night, my father and I found a shoebox full of photographs. There were fragile sheets of paper depicting graduations and funerals in sepia. Many celebrations were captured in Technicolor. Some were taken only a year or two ago. Others were more than half a century old. Such was the time frame compacted into that single shoebox. My father kept on saying, "Oh, look at this. I had such dreams for us then," and "It's too bad your sisters were too young to remember this." I smiled whenever he gave those comments, but I also felt the same melancholic sensation triggered by many of the pictures. One in particular made us both chuckle with amazement and communicated but unspoken longing for the past only the of us could recall. I could not be sure what his line of thinking was, but I was being jolted by the memories which told me that my family had not always lived in what society would call the modern civilization. How was it that now we could not even fathom living without the comforts of urbanization?
The scene in the bright photograph is beyond typically rural. An old bamboo stake protrudes like an edifice from the bottom of the photograph, right between the two lower edges. Supporting two parallel lines of barbed wire, it serves as a makeshift marker, effectively outlining the boundary between the owner's property and the outside world.
Directly behind the primitive fence is an old-fashioned bicycle. It has never seen the inside of a factory. The gleaming metal tubes and plates comprising its body are not cluttered by confusing mechanisms. The bicycle's frame is very simple. Although one can almost see the bulging points where the joints were connected using a non-professional welding device, the architecture itself is that of a seasoned craftsman. There is accuracy in the position of the angles and reddish-brown seat, and the height of the pedals; the bicycle serves its master well.
Beyond the bicycle is a narrow dirt path separating two distinct buildings. The path, along with most of the unoccupied ground which can be seen from the photographer's vantage point, is covered with grass. Further along this forlorn road, the compound's owner, my grandfather, diligently placed smooth rocks to replace the creeping grass, as if to say, "Here ends the garden. Welcome to the backyard." Potted plants line the path on the left side. None of these plants bear any flowers but they look cared-for, nonetheless.
The building on the left is the two-story house where everyone lives. The lower story has a concrete base which supports a row of jalousie windows amidst vertical wooden planks. The second story is set atop the first like a small box carelessly placed on a rectangular table. It forms a slight overhang and embeds a little into the lower story, so that it seems as though part of the roof of a bungalow house had been cut away and a smaller house with a square floor plan was placed over it to cover up the hole. The two stories fit as snugly as they would if they were made of Lego pieces.
The upper story also has vertical wooden planks as walls. The anterior windows are of the same jalousie style as the lower story ones. The side windows, however, are large, rectangular openings with two sliding wooden boards which keep the elements from invading the privacy of the house. These boards are embedded with Capiz shells for the sake of aesthetics, making them look like long, all-white chess boards.
The building on the right is smaller and looks less habitable. Most see nothing but cans of paint and thinner, old gardening tools, slabs of plywood, other hardware, and the occasional snakes and lizards in this shed. Like the house, the shed's foundation is concrete. The upper half is a makeshift wall, hand-woven from the leaves of Nipa palms. Both of the buildings are roofed with corrugated aluminum.
Despite the shed's crude face, it is used as a backdrop for pink roses whose bases were in old cans of powdered milk rather than store-bought pots. Similar cans with seedlings growing from them stand like little soldiers under the windows of the house. Not far from these baby plants are their possible parents, full-grown plants in brown mud pots also serving as silent sentinels under kitchen and bedroom windows. Beyond both buildings, obscured by the manhewn giants in the foreground, are trees of varying species. They peek from the rooftops, warning the populace of the presence of a hundred different insects, from wasps to tiny ants, whose stings should - but will never - be enough to scare the neighbor's naughty children from stealing ripened fruits. An old rattan chair, likely broken and deemed irreparable, leans against the wall of the house like a misplaced ragdoll discarded by its mistress.
If I were to go back to that same compound, I would find a large cream-colored house with a pretty balcony and a garage that could fit four cars. The padlock would have to be removed from the large iron gates, unless I wanted to climb over high cemented walls and fall not on grass but on rough concrete. A Doberman in a metal cage would greet me with a bark that would be threatening to strangers but welcoming to me, one of the dog's few friends and owners. I would have cakes and Coke instead of fruits and coconut juice. I would turn the air-conditioning on and watch CNN instead of Tagalog cartoons.
Years ago, I laughed at a quote a friend said. "The only constant thing in this world is change." Looking at pictures like this, I cannot help but feel the immensity of the changes that occurred over the two decades that passed since I was born. Indeed, time has the capacity to fool the mind. Wasn't it yesterday that I played barefoot in my insect-infested backyard?
Author's Note: I had more fun writing this than I thought I would. I write a lot but, over the years, description became a rather weak point for me. I used to be decent at it. For some reason, I lost my touch somewhere between learning to write in first person and unintentionally forgetting how to write in third. This exercise forced me to describe something and, honestly, I think I did well enough. I think I should stop being scared of trying (and failing) to create imagery.
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The Human Cost of an Illiterate Society by Jonathan Kozol PRECAUTIONS. READ BEFORE USING Poison: Contains sodium hydroxide (cause soda-lye) Corrosive: Causes severe eye and skin damage, may cause blindness. Harmful or fatal if swallowed. If swallowed, give large quantities of milk or water. Do not induce vomiting. Important: Keep water out of can at all times to prevent contents from violently erupting… -warning on a can of Drano …Since I first immersed myself within this work I have often had the following dream: I find that I am in a railroad station or large department store within a city that is utterly unknown to me and where I cannot understand the printed words. None of the signs or symbols is familiar. Everything looks strange: like mirror writing of some kind. Gradually I understand that I am in the Soviet Union. All the letters on the walls around me are Cyrillic. I look for my pocket dictionary but I find that it has been mislaid. Where have I left it? Then I recall that I forgot to bring it with me when I packed my bags in Boston. I struggle to remember the name of my hotel. I try to ask somebody for directions. One person stops and looks at me in a peculiar way, I lose the nerve to ask. At last I reach into my wallet for an ID card. The card is missing. Have I lost it? Then I remember that my card was confiscated for some reason, many years before. Around this point, I wake up in a panic. This panic is not so different from the misery that million of adult illiterates experience each day within the course of their routine existence in the U.S.A. Illiterates cannot read the menu in a restaurant. They cannot read the cost of items on the menu in the window of the restaurant before they enter. Illiterates cannot read the letters that their children bring home from their teachers. They cannot study school department circulars that tell them of the courses that their children must be taking if they hope to pass the SAT exams. They cannot help with homework. They cannot write a letter to the teacher. They are afraid to visit in the classroom. They do not want to humiliate their child or themselves. Illiterates cannot read instructions on a bottle of prescription medicine. They cannot find out when a medicine is past the year of safe consumption; nor can they read of allergenic risks, warnings to diabetics, or the potential sedative effect of certain kinds of non-prescription pills. They cannot observe preventive health care admonitions. They cannot read about "the seven warning signs of cancer" or the indications of blood-sugar fluctuations or the risks of eating certain foods that aggravate the likelihood of cardiac arrest. Illiterates live, in more than literal ways, an uninsured existence. They cannot understand the written details on a health insurance form, They cannot read the waivers that they sign preceding surgical procedures. Several women I have known in Boston have entered a slum hospital with the intention of obtaining a tubal ligation and have emerged a few days later after having been subjected to a hysterectomy. Unaware of their rights, incognizant of jargon, intimidated by the unfamiliar air of fear and atmosphere of ether that so many of us find oppressive in the confines even of the most attractive and expensive medical facilities, they have signed their names to documents they could not read and which nobody, in the hectic situation that prevails so often in those overcrowded hospitals that serve the urban poor, had even bothered to explain… Even the roof above one's head, the gas or other fuel for heating that protects the residents of northern city slums against the threat of illness in the winter months become uncertain guarantees. Illiterates cannot read the lease that they must sign to live in an apartment which, too often, they cannot afford. They cannot manage check accounts and therefore seldom pay for anything by mail. Hours and entire days of difficult travel (and the cost of bus or other public transit) must be added to the real cost of whatever they consume. Loss of interest on the check accounts they do not have, and could not manage if they did, must be regarded as another of the excess costs paid by the citizen who is excluded from the common instruments of commerce in a numerate society. "I couldn't understand the bills," a woman in Washington D.C., reports, "And then I couldn't write the checks to pay them. We signed things we didn't know what they were." Illiterates cannot read the notices that they receive from welfare offices or from the IRS. They must depend on word-of mouth instruction from the welfare worker-or from other persons whom they have good reason to mistrust. They do not know what rights they have, what deadlines and requirements they face, what options they might choose to exercise. They are half-citizens. Their rights exist in print but not in fact. Illiterates cannot look up numbers in a telephone directory. Even if they can find the names of friends, few possess the sorting skills to make use of the yellow pages; categories are bewildering and trade names are beyond decoding capabilities for millions of nonreaders. Even the emergency numbers listed on the first page of the phone book-“Ambulance,” “Police," and “Fire"--are too frequently beyond the recognition of nonreaders. Many illiterates cannot read the admonition on a pack of cigarettes. Neither the Surgeon General's warning nor its reproduction on the package can alert them to the risks. Although most people learn by word of mouth that smoking is related to a number of grave physical disorders, they do not get the chance to read the detailed stories which can document this danger with the vividness that turns concern into determination to resist. They can see the handsome cowboy or the slim Virginia lady lighting up a filter cigarette; they cannot heed the words that tell them that this product is (not "may be") dangerous to their health. Sixty million men and women are condemned to be the unalerted, high-risk candidates for cancer. Illiterates do not buy "no-name" products in the supermarkets. They must depend on photographs or the familiar logos that are printed on the packages of brand name groceries. The poorest people, therefore, are denied the benefits of the least costly products. Illiterates depend almost entirely upon label recognition. Many labels, however, are not easy to distinguish. Dozens of different kinds of Campbell's soup appear identical to the nonreader. The purchaser who cannot read and does not dare to ask for help, out of the fear of being stigmatized (a fear which is unfortunately realistic), frequently comes home with something which she never wanted and her family never tasted. Illiterates cannot read instructions on a pack of frozen food. Packages sometimes provide an illustration to explain the cooking preparations; but illustrations are of little help to someone who must "boil water, drop the food-within its plastic wrapper-in the boiling water, wait for it to simmer, instantly remove." Even when labels are seemingly clear, they may be easily mistaken. A woman in Detroit brought home a gallon of Crisco for her children's dinner. She thought that she had bought the chicken that was pictured on the label. She had enough Crisco now to last a year-but no more money to go back and buy the food for dinner. Recipes provided on the packages of certain staples sometimes tempt a semiliterate person to prepare a meal her children have not tasted. The longing to vary the uniform and often starchy content of low-budget meals provided to the family that relies on food stamps commonly leads to ruinous results. Scarce funds have been wasted and the food must be thrown out. The same applies to distribution of food-surplus produce in emergency conditions. Government inducements to poor people to "explore the ways" by which to make a tasty meal from tasteless noodles, surplus cheese, and powdered milk are useless to nonreaders. Intended as benevolent advice, such recommendations mock reality and foster deeper feelings of resentment and of inability to cope. (Those, on the other hand, who cautiously refrain from "innovative" recipes in preparation of their children's meals, must suffer the opprobrium of "laziness," "lack of imagination . . .") Illiterates cannot travel freely. When they attempt to do so they encounter risks that few of us can dream of. They cannot read traffic signs and, while they often learn to recognize and decipher symbols, they cannot manage street names which they haven't seen before. The same is true for bus and subway stops. While ingenuity can sometimes help a man or woman to discern directions from familiar landmarks, buildings, cemeteries, churches, and the like, most illiterates are virtually immobilized. They seldom wander past the streets and neighborhoods they know. Geographical paralysis becomes a bitter metaphor for their entire existence. They are immobilized in almost every sense we can imagine. They can't move up. They can't move out. They cannot see beyond. Illiterates may take an oral test for drivers' permits in most sections of America. It is a questionable concession. Where will they go? How will they get there? How will they get home? Could it be that some of us might like it better if they stayed where they belong? Travel is only one of many instances of circumscribed existence. Choice, in almost all of its facets, is diminished in the life of an illiterate adult. Even the printed TV schedule, which provides most people with the luxury of pre-selection, does not belong within the arsenal of options in illiterate existence. One consequence is that the viewer watches only what appears at moments when he happens to have time to turn the switch. Another consequence, a lot more common, is that the TV set remains in operation night and day. Whatever the program offered at the hour when he walks into the room will be the nutriment that he accepts and swallows. Thus, to passivity, is added frequency-indeed, almost uninterrupted continuity. Freedom to select is no more possible here than in the choice of home or surgery or food. "You don't choose," said one illiterate woman. "You take your wishes from somebody else." Whether in perusal of a menu, selection of highways, purchase of groceries, or determination of affordable enjoyment, illiterate Americans must trust somebody else: a friend, a relative, a stranger on the street, a grocery clerk, a TV copywriter. "All of our mail we get, it's hard for her to read. Settin' down and writing a letter, she can't do it. Like if we get a bill . . .we take it over to my sister-in-law... My sister-in-law reads it." Billing agencies harass poor people for the payment of the bills for purchases that might have taken place six months before. Utility companies offer an agreement for a staggered payment schedule on a bill past due. "You have to trust them," one man said. Precisely for this reason, you end up by trusting no one and suspecting everyone of possible deceit. A submerged sense of distrust becomes the corollary to a constant need to trust. "They are cheating me... I have been tricked...I do not know . . ." Not knowing: This is a familiar theme. Not knowing the right word for the right thing at the right time is one form of subjugation. Not knowing the world that lies concealed behind those words is a more terrifying feeling. The longitude and latitude of one's existence are beyond all easy apprehension. Even the hard, cold stars within the firmament above one's head begin to mock the possibilities for self-location. Where am I? Where did I come from? Where will I go? “I've lost a lot of jobs," one man explains. “Today, even if you're a janitor, there's still reading and writing... They leave a note saying, 'Go to room so-and-so...' You can't do it. You can't read it. You don't know." "The hardest thing about it is that I've been places where I didn't know where I was. You don't know where you are. . .You're lost." "Like I said: I have two kids. What do I do if one of my kids starts choking? I go running to the phone...I can't look up the hospital phone number. That's if we're at home. Out on the street, I can't read the sign. I get to a pay phone. 'Okay, tell us where you are. We'll send an ambulance.' I look at the street sign. Right there, I can't tell you what it says. I'd have to spell it out, letter for letter. By that time, one of my kids would be dead...These are the kinds of fears you go with, every single day..." “Reading directions, I suffer with. I work with chemicals... That's scary to begin with..." “You sit down. They throw the menu in front of you. Where do you go from there? Nine times out of ten you say, ‘Go ahead. Pick out something for the both of us. ‘I've eaten some weird things, let me tell you!" Menus. Chemicals. A child choking while his mother searches for a word she does not know to find assistance that will come too late. Another mother speaks about the inability to help her kids to read: "I can't read to them. Of course that's leaving them out of something they should have. Oh, it matters. You believe it matters! I ordered all these books. The kids belong to a book club. Donny wanted me to read a book to him. I told Donny: 'I can't read.' He said: 'Mommy, you sit down. I’ll read it to you,' I tried it one days reading from the pictures. Donny looked at me. He said, ‘Mommy, that's not right.’ He's only five. He knew I couldn't read . . ." A landlord tells a woman that her lease allows him to evict her if her baby cries and causes inconvenience to her neighbors. The consequence of challenging his words conveys a danger which appears, unlikely as it seems, even more alarming than the danger of eviction. Once she admits that she can't read, in the desire to maneuver for the time in which to call a friend, she will have defined herself in terms of an explicit impotence that she cannot endure. Capitulation in this case is preferable to self-humiliation. Resisting the definition of oneself in terms of what one cannot do, what others take for granted, represents a need so great that other imperatives (even one so urgent as the need to keep one's home in winter's cold) evaporate and fall away in face of fear. Even the loss of home and shelter, in this case, is not so terrifying as the loss of self. "I come out of school. I was sixteen. They had their meetings. The directors meet. They said that I was wasting their school paper. I was wasting pencils..." Another illiterate, looking back, believes she was not worthy of her teacher's time. She believes that it was wrong of her to take up space within her school. She believes that it was right to leave in order that somebody more deserving could receive her place. Children choke. Their mother chokes another way: on more than chicken bones. People eat what others order, what others tell them, struggle not to see themselves as they believe the world perceives them. People eat what others tell them. A man in California speaks about his own loss of identity, of self-location, definition: “I stood at the bottom of the ramp. My car had broke down on the freeway. There was a phone. I asked for the police. They was nice. They said to tell them where I was. I looked up at the signs. There was one that I had seen before. I read it to them: ONE WAY STREET. They thought it was a joke. I told them I couldn't read. There was other signs above the ramp. They told me to try. I looked around for somebody to help. All the cars was going by real fast. I couldn't make them understand that I was lost. The cop was nice. He told me: ‘Try once more.’ I did my best. I couldn't read. I only knew the sign above my head. The cop was trying to be nice. He knew that I was trapped. ‘I can't send out a car to you if you can't tell me where you are.’ I felt afraid. I nearly cried. I'm forty-eight years old. I only said: ‘I'm on a one-way street. . .’” Perhaps we might slow down a moment here and look at the realities described above. This is the nation that we live in. This is a society that most of us did not create but which our President and other leaders have been willing to sustain by virtue of malign neglect. Do we possess the character and courage to address a problem which so many nations, poorer than our own, have found it natural to correct? The answers to these questions represent a reasonable test of our belief in the democracy to which we have been asked in public school to swear allegiance.
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| What type of person do you attract? Your Result: You attract artsy people! Those free spirited artists with great imaginations find you interesting. They are usually interesting themselves, so its not a bad thing, but they CAN be a bit wifty and choose odd goals. If you like life to always be a bit 'different' from the norm, but not too extreme in any one direction, these are the people for you. If you seek logical decision making skills and good money management, you may want to change something in the way you appear. Artsy people are fun for adventure and exploring, so, have fun! (smoking weed helps too) | | You attract Yuppies! | | | You attract geeks! | | | You attract unstable people! | | | You attract models! | | | You attract rednecks! | | What type of person do you attract?
Quizzes for MySpace |
You Scored a 97% which means you are a .... You are a passionate lover. You are the complete package and you recieve the complete package. You are NOT selfish and yet you still don't get walked all over. You're what everyone looks for and you show the opposite sex what it is like to truly be loved. Anyone who gets you is truly lucky.
What kind of lover are you
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| What mental disorder do you have? Your Result: Manic Depressive You have extreme cycles of highs and lows. Sometimes you feel like you don't know who you are. One week you could be very hyper and happy and the next week you are slow and depressed. | | GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder) | | | Paranoia | | | OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) | | | ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) | | | What mental disorder do you have? |
Happy Independence Day!
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If you've seen over 85 movies, you truly are a movie buff. Mark the ones you've seen. There are about 170 movies on this list. (X) Sukob ( ) Oh my ghost! ( ) White lady (X) Wag kang lilingon ( ) Feng shui (X) KKK (kasal, kasali, kasalo) ( ) Enteng Kabisote ( ) Enteng Kabisote 2 ( ) Enteng Kabisote 3 (X) Super Noypi ( ) Karma (X) Shake, Rattle and Roll (X) D Anothers ( ) First Day High Total: 6 (X) Bring it On 1 (X) Bring it On 2 (X) Bring it On 3 (X) Fun With Dick and Jane ( ) Cake (X) Zathura ( ) Borat ( ) Dead or Alive (X) 8 mile (X) 50 First Dates (X) The Princess Diaries ( X) The Princess Diaries 2: Royal (X) Legally Blonde (X) Legally Blonde 2 Total: 11 (X) Charlie's Angels (X) Charlie's Angels 2 ( ) Dude, where's my car? (X) Scary Movie (X) Scary Movie 2 (X) Scary Movie 3 (X ) Scary Movie 4 (X) American Pie (X) American Pie 2 ( ) American Wedding ( ) American Pie Band Camp Total: 8
(X) Harry Potter (X) Harry Potter 2 (X) Harry Potter 3 (X) Harry Potter 4 (X) Resident Evil 1 (X) Resident Evil 2 (X) The Wedding Singer (X) Cinderella Man ( ) The Village (X) Coyote Ugly Total: 9 (X) Space Jam (X) Finding Neverland (X) Signs (X) The Grinch (X) Texas Chainsaw Massacre ( ) White Chicks (X) Little Manhattan (X) 13 Going on 30 (X) Click (X) Devil Wears Prada Total: 9 ( ) Mighty Ducks 1 ( ) Mighty Ducks 2 ( ) Mighty Ducks 3 ( ) Mighty Ducks 4 (X) Deep Impact ( ) KingPin (X) Meet The Parents ( ) Meet the Fockers ( ) Eight Crazy Nights ( ) Joe Dirt (X) Anaconda Total : 3 (X) Alice in Wonderland ( ) The Terminal ( ) The Lizzie McGuire Movie (X) Deep Blue Sea ( ) Dumb & Dumber ( ) Dumber & Dumberer (X) Final Destination (X) Final Destination 2 (X) Final Destination 3 ( ) Halloween (X) The Ring (X) The Ring 2 (X) Ring Zero (X) Flubber ( ) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle (X) Practical Magic (X) Chicago (X) Ghost Ship ( ) From Hell (X) Hellboy ( ) Secret Window (X) I Am Sam Total : 14 (X) The Day After Tomorrow (X) Child's Play (X) Seed of Chucky (X) Bride of Chucky (X) 10 Things I Hate About You (X) Just Married (X) Gothika ( ) Nightmare on Elm Street ( ) Sixteen Candles ( ) Remember the Titans (X) Coach Carter (X) The Grudge (X) The Grudge 2 (X) The Mask ( ) Son Of The Mask Total: 11 (X) My Super Ex-Girlfriend ( ) Joy Ride ( ) She's the Man (X) Ocean's Eleven (X) Ocean's Twelve (X) Mean Girls (X) Step Up (X) Pearl Harbor ( ) Predator I ( ) Predator II ( ) Superstar (X) Happy Feet (X) Ice Age (X) Ice age 2 The Meltdown Total: 9 (X) Independence Day ( ) Cujo (X) Idle Hands (X) Darkness Falls ( ) Children of the Corn (X) My Boss' Daughter (X) Maid in Manhattan (X) Monsters Inc. (X) Rush Hour (X) Rush Hour 2 ( ) Best Bet (X) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days (X) She's All That ( ) Poseidon (X) Titanic ( ) Mars Attacks (X) Event Horizon (X) Ever After (X) Forrest Gump ( ) Big Trouble in Little China (X) The Terminator (X) The Terminator 2 (X) The Terminator 3 Total : 17 (X) X-Men (X) X-Men 2 (X) X-Men 3 (X) Spider-Man (X) Spider-Man 2 (X) Sky High ( ) Jeepers Creepers ( ) Jeepers Creepers 2 ( ) Catch Me If You Can (X) The Others (X) The Eye (X) Dark Water (X) Cruel Intentions (X) Cruel Intentions 2 ( ) The Hot Chick (X) Shrek (X) Shrek 2 Total : 13 ( ) Swimfan ( ) Miracle (X) School of Rock ( ) K-Paxx (X) Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (X) Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (X) Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (X) A Walk To Remember (X) Hollow Man ( ) The 40-year-old-virgin (X) The Exorcist (X) Exorcism of Emily Rose Total: 8 Add up all your scores.
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Do you have the guts to answer these Q's and repost as The Controversial Survey?
-That requires guts?
Would you do meth if it was legalized?
- Is it supposed to be good? Coke, maybe. Not sure about meth.
Abortion: for or against?
- Choice, all the way. So I guess that makes me 'For'.
Would our country fall with a woman president?
- It will fall under someone stupid. Doesn't matter if s/he has a penis or a vagina.
Do you believe in the death penalty?
- No.
Do you wish marijuana would be legalized already?
- I don't care enough about this one.
Are you for or against premarital sex?
- I don't think it matters when you have sex. The questions that matter are who with, when and why.
Do you believe in God?
- In a sense.
Do you think that same sex marriage should be legalized?
-Absolutely.
Do you think it's wrong that so many Hispanics are moving to the USA?
- No.
A 12 year old girl has a baby ... should she keep it?
- If she wants to.
Should the alcohol age be lowered to 18?
- Does it matter? I'm pretty sure people under 21 drink, either way.
Should the war in Iraq be called off?
- Haven't heard enough arguments from either side for me to give an honest opinion.
Should assisted suicide be legal?
-Ask the medical personnel who would have to deal with it. As for me, I would want to have the power over my own life, thank you.
Do you believe in spanking your children?
- When it's really, really, really necessary.. On the butt, with my hand. Not hard enough that it would cause injury (it shouldn't even leave a mark), but enough that the child would understand the difference between wrong and right.
Would you burn an American flag for a million dollars?
- Meh. Call me sentimental but I probably won't, even if I don't pledge allegiance to it. I have too great a sense of (probably weak) honor. Depends on how much I need the money.
A mother is declared innocent after murdering her 5 children in a temporary insanity case... what do you think?
- That is insanity but it's not innocence.
It's between you and a person who is being kept alive by life support machines... one has to die? Who?
- Ask the family of the one on life support.
Are you afraid others will judge you from reading some of your answers?
- Nope. Doubt they would.
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Yna Crane was created almost a month ago for RPGC's Capitol. I have yet to use her and I need a bit of a back story (which will unravel through the snippets I will be writing on this post in the next few days). I'm also going to use this to get my creative juices flowing. >_> They've been very stagnant lately. Comments are welcome. Here goes: - "You’re a sweet little thing, you know. You don’t smell of purified angels or taste of strawberries and champagne, but I can’t help from thinking you’re incredulously precious. When I look at you, all I see is shiny red. Like the devil’s horn had been broken off and carved into a face that mocks the very existence of hell itself. You’re gorgeous and poisonous, a vision of treachery and sin. I just wanna grab you by the neck and... And I’m not really sure what I’d do afterwards. Either tear you to pieces or kiss you till we burn to cinders. I can almost taste your beauty on my lips and it’s making me want to scream for more. Bitter and sweet and utterly forbidden. I hate you. I love you. I swear to god, I’ll die if I don’t get you out of my ******* skin. "
- Person1: She's pliant iron turned woman. It's downright unnatural.
- Person2: And strangely hot.
- HEADLINE: ???
- Press Release: "If [the paparazzi] come near my property again, I'll have you shot."
- He was drenched when he reached my door, eyes afire and breath nearly failing. I wanted to slap him right across the cheek, to dive into a maternal diatribe about his precarious health and the fact that he should have stayed in his god damned limousine instead of braving the raging storm. I wanted to beat him with his own walking stick for acting like a lovesick teenager. But he knew I was smiling. He recognized the thoughts flickering in my eyes and acquiesced. I wanted a kiss. Not the kind you saw in romantic movies – I didn’t want his notorious seduction, no. Just a small kiss, the kind which would remind me that despite all the filth I’ve accumulated while living the life of Yna Evangeline, the actress, I still was not beyond salvation.
- “They have several names for women like you, but none of them give justice to the kind of person you are, Yna.”
- TBC.
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1) Single, Taken, Naked, or Flirt? ♥Naked. Lmfao. 2) Are you happy with that? ♥So and so. You take what you get. 3 ) Would you still kiss your ex? ♥Perhaps. 4 ) Have you ever had your heart broken? ♥Once or twice. 5 ) Do you believe that there are certain circumstances where cheating is to? Wtf,, 6) Have you ever talked about marriage? ♥Yes. In jest and otherwise. 7) Do you want children? ♥Right now? o_o 8) How Many? ♥ .. 9) If someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you? ♥I would. 10)Do you want someone you can't have? ♥ I don't see the point. Hence, no. 11) Have you ever been in love? ♥ I'm the first to admit that I don't know what being in love is supposed to mean. 12) Do you believe in celebrating anniversaries? ♥It's unnecessary but quite fun. 13) Do you believe that you can change for someone? ♥It happens. 14) Is it a good day? ♥ I guess. 15) What would you want say to your most recent ex? ♥ I think I miss you. 16) Does your recent ex still have feelings for you? ♥Jeez, I hope not. 17) Do you believe in long distance relationships? ♥Again, it happens. 18) Do you believe in love at first sight? ♥Absolutely not.
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Two names you go by:
1. Ches 2. Grace
Two things you are wearing right now:
1. Denim Skirt2. Gold Bracelet
Two of your favorite things to do:
1. Read
2. Sleep
Two things you want very badly at the moment:
1. Sleep
2. A hug.
Two favorite pets you have had/have :
1. Pika (a Shi-tzu dog)2. Pika's puppies.
Two people who will fill this out: Sorry there are only spaces for two so.....
1. Your children. 2. --
Two things you ate today:
1. Brownies2. Fries
Two people you last talked to:
1. Diego 2. Erica
Two things you're doing tomorrow:
1. Work
2. Speech Outline
Two longest car rides:
1. Tarlac to Batangas (Philippines)
2. Lautoka to Suva (Fiji)
Two favourite holidays:
1. The ones that happen in December.
2. New Year's
Two favorite beverages :
1. Mango juice
2. Coffee
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Here's to reflection and reminiscing. Bamboo - So Far Away
So far away..
Doesn’t anybody stay in one place anymore?
It would be so fine to see your face at my door.
Doesn’t help to know that you’re just time away.. Long ago I reached for you and there you stood;
Holding you again could only do me good..
How I wish I could, but you’re so far away. One more song about movin’ along the highway.
Can’t say much of anything that’s new.
If I could only work this life out my way,
I’d rather spend it bein’ close to you. But you’re so far away..
You’re so far away. Travelin’ around sure gets me down and lonely,
Nothin’ else to do but close my mind.
I sure hope the road doesn't come to own me,
But there’s so many dreams I’ve yet to find. But you’re so far away..
Doesn’t anybody stay in one place anymore?
It would be so fine to see your face at my door,
And it doesn’t help to know, it doesn’t help to know..
It doesn’t help to know.. You’re so far away
Perhaps writing would solve it all. You never know. To stay, to go..
If she laughed, he would have grinned. It would have made everything okay. But, see, she was upset by the futility of the world. She wanted nothing to do with sordid reality; she needed something untouchable, a love so great it was unbreakable. There was a fantasy that never strayed too far from her clouded mind. And that was what she needed, craved, lived for. Someday not far from now, she’ll be swept off her feet. She’ll touch him and he’ll no longer feel like ice. She was deathly afraid of falling in love because she was terrified by the thought of magic fading into tired nights and ogre-like behavior. She feared the picture-perfect house because comfort ate romance for breakfast. She knew she’d wake up one day and find him to be the same person who could not see past his restlessness. He’d hate her – their life - then as much as he hated his world now. So she embraced her trust issues while detesting their presence, the misery they brought. She would try not to pry when he was quiet. This especially applied when she, too, was nursing invisible wounds that rendered her incapable of filling the silence with nonsense. Besides, the nonsense – the same old stuff that never went any deeper than a few inches under their skin – was beginning to take its toll on her. She wanted to scream for more but she did not know what to ask for. Like the boy in one of her favorite songs, there were so many things she forgot to say but remembered when the courage to speak of matters less superficial had fled. And back, back, back at the beginning, she stood.
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At the same time each year:
Perhaps March is our month. I know you're noticing it, too. No matter who we're with or what we're doing, March always finds us prodding the embers of our long-dead romance. I guess it's all in good fun. There's something comforting about reliving our childhood days, isn't there? And with all our friends gathered in our annual mock reunion, it's not so hard to imagine that we're children again without a care in the world.
So we'll keep doing this.. Meeting unexpectedly, trying to ignore each other, and somehow finding ourselves in the middle of an empty dancefloor, slowly moving to the same rhythm. You'll say something about us being back here again - I'll laugh and playfully hit you. Gotta admit I miss that subtle friendly flirting.
For the next few weeks, you'll be trying to reestablish our severed acquaintance. I'll continue making excuses to avoid you, until you finally give up. In the end, we'll both realize - as we always do - that you and I together is too destructive a force to ever be allowed breath.
But I think we'll always have this strange -- is bond the right word? I'll always be your first love, and you'll always be my secret summer fling.
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